Resignation

Forgive me my friends for not putting to hard disk the more recent adventures of my life and job as a more or less glorified undercover professional cock sucker.

So much has happened, so many details, stories and adventures have whizzed by in the intervening months, that it will take some time to write them down now that I am no longer employed.

You read that correctly - finally having enough of the bureaucracy and general BS that I endured on a daily basis surrounding my "job", that I finally told them all to kiss my ass and just quit. 

This in and of itself was not without it's own problems, as my superiors couldn't just allow someone who was not actually a sanctioned employee walk out that easily, not with my knowledge of the 'who', 'where' and 'how'  encompassing my job nor the bizarre and frightening people I'd come to know (and blow) over the years. 

No, I knew they wouldn't let me walk without considering a  more "permanent" retirement package for me, and I knew this was a distinct possiblity.  

Overcoming an obstacle of this magnitude wouldn't be easy were it not for a video showing a covert operative searching a location for which I knew damned well he didn't have a search warrant.

A video secreted away somewhere out here in cyberspace amongst the hundreds of billions of exabyte, somewhere safe but totally accessible if the need should arise.

Fears regarding what -could be- were allayed as I secured the sealed letter with the video's web address to a close friend and lawyer, with instructions regarding dissemination to interested parties should my demise fall under a cloud of suspicion.

On a Monday not so long ago, I turned in my letter of resignation and soon afterward began dutifully filling out the mountain of forms dumped unceremoniously on my desk by a dour HR employee who grunted to me as she left, "Someone will contact you to arrange an exit interview"

The evil glint in her eye betrayed awareness of my cover employment and what lay next. That "next" didn't occur for over a week.

Summoned to yet another anonymous office building in DC, I was met with interview after interview, form after form, official after official until many hours later when the real fun began in the form of an interrogation and quickly escalated into veiled threats about the dire consequences involved with revealing what I knew to anyone.

Enduring interminable hours of bullying, threats and intimidation, the exit interview and debriefing consisted of questions regarding the motivating factors of my resignation, my intentions upon leaving, where I would go and what I would do once arriving.

 given the depth of my knowledge. 

Eventually I was interviewed by a man with military bearing who began to ask questions revealing that he had intimate knowledge of my "encounters', someone I surmised with high enough clearance to be privy to such information. That's when I laid it out on the table. 

Leaning in across the table towards him, I shifted my torso to allow maximum cleavage visibility, licked my lips, then slowly turning my head up and away from him, gazing momentarily at the ceiling as if lost in thought. 

Biting my lip severely and taking in a large breath of air to puff my magnificent rack out juuust a bit further, I gave him a additional heartbeat to stair before snapping my neck back down to to his eye level, which was of course focused a bit further South.

Startled, his neck snapped upward to find my eyes drilling holes in his before starting to speak sharply.

"Look, let's cut the shit and get down to it, shall we? You and your superiors want to know, one, have I been bought or coerced by outsiders to quit, two, am I'm going to spit out details regarding the pieces of shit you've had me fuck and suck, the places I've seen or been to over the years, and most especially number three:  am I'm going to tell anybody about this crap or relate details in my blog.  A blog by the way, I know you've been aware of for years. A blog where you know goddamned well I've written about my sexual escapades, but disguised details regarding anything personal or incriminating - right? 

Well, the answers are 'no', 'no', and YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT I'M GOING TO TELL if you try and fuck me like a drunken Tijuana whore after a hard weekend. 

Tell that is, unless you play by the rules I'm about to lay down and there will be NO negotiation, savvy?"

The intelligence officer's face betrayed a momentary laps of decorum that was both priceless and unexpected, as training dictates remaining emotionless shells when questioning a subject lest a look betray intent, knowledge or future action.

I too learned early that my looks and 'bod would obtain almost anything desired, details I had honed in the last few years to a razors edge, and I had used them well in this case to my adventge

Composure regained, the agent's left eyebrow arched slightly and his steely eyes regarded me momentarily before replying, "Rules?"

"Only one rule" I said back, "Leave me and my family alone after I leave. No "accidents" or mysterious circumstances where we suddenly disappear or fall off a boat. None of the shit I know you guy's have done in the past - nada - or the tape goes public."

I then proceeded to tell him about the tape, what it contained, who and what it showed, and all the dirty details surrounding how it was obtained.

The agent / officer listened closely to the details related and after several seconds of deathly silence as we regarded each other said, "That's it? You don't want anything else? No demand for money or something else? Just to leave you and your family unharmed and in peace?"

A small smile crossed my lips as I said "Yes. That's it. Just let us live our lives without interference. Sure, I'm going to tell tails in my blog, but you know I'll protect the guilty, now don't you?"

Rising, my inquisitor swallowed and said "I have to make a call, please wait here.." then turned and left the room.

Wait here. Like I had any choice in the matter.