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Memory Dump Subject 0141960-M
Entry 2 - 03:41:30 / 082205
Looking back, I can't see anything wrong in my life. I get up and kiss D, go to work, come home and eat, then play a bit before bed. I'm just another schmuck on the bus, just like everyone else out there in corporate America and it really galls me that I can't figure it all out. Maybe if I go back a bit more and revisit the former months, can I get a better idea of just what went wrong.
Is it something I did? I've never harmed a flee (well, actually, I loath them on my dog and cats and put them swiftly to their deaths), so that was a bad analogy - but really - I'm just another lemming in America.
Was it working for the Kerry campaign back in '99 that did it?
Sure, I went to rallies and speeches and had bumper stickers on my car and a sign in my front lawn like many other people, and ok, maybe I blogged a bit fervently in support of the campaign. Yes, I went to the protests down in Florida after the election was stolen from the Democrats there just as it was in 2000, but many of us WERE up in arms about how so many people (who just happened to be Democrats) weren't allowed to vote because of something or another.
Both Governor and President Bush assured America and the Fifth Estate that there WERE no irregularities, but we knew better. And Florida wasn't alone with the issue - there were more voting atrocities nation wide, however the Republicans poo poo'd the whole notion and yes, the special investigation by Congress (Republican controlled I might add) showed no real issues, but many of us knew that something was rotten in D.C. and decided to speak out.
So much for the First Amendment. Many of us were arrested at the peaceful protests, even though we were in a public park under the waving American stars and stripes, I included. They held me for three days without a lawyer or bail until they charged me and my "conspirators" with "disorderly conduct". This is quite humorous; as I said, it was a peaceful protest - no bullhorns, no yelling, no fighting.
So yeah, there was THAT, but now what?
They turn the lights down but never out at what i can only perceive is "night", so I can rest a bit, but who knows how long I've actually been here. The days are so long with nothing to do but think, that I really have no way of knowing just what day it is, or how long I've been here.
I started to try and count the cycles by scratching Roman numerals on the wall with my finger nails, but oddly, these disappeared after about 7 "cycles".
The only thing I can figure out about how this happened is that my keepers are drugging my food at night and then cleaning me and my cell, or moving me around to different places..
Oh yes, the food.
It arrives once a day though the slot in the door on a tray made of plastic that seems to be attached to the door itself. I am forced to eat what they give me not only standing up, but without utensils as well. The food is bland and tasteless, but I must eat something, so I eat what they give me. At first I wolfed it all down, but quickly realized that since they were feeding me but once a day, that I had better slow down and enjoy (?) every putrid bit by chewing slowly.
Attempting to reserve some food for later consumption was a fruitless effort and in essence has lead me to understand just a bit about how the "cycle" works here.
I believe that once a "week" they drug my food or water (ah ha! that's what that little spout on top of the toilet is for!) and then move me out of my cell to another one since I wake up with a bit of a headache the next "day" less itchy than I was the previous "day" with clean hair, and whatever I have scavenged for food removed from it's hiding place.
It explains as well why my crude calendar disappears as well I guess.
Oh yeah, the toilet. Weird. This MUST be some sort of Federal prison, but having never been in one before, I can't really say, but there are some high tech features here that almost defied explanation for a while until I sussed them out. Like the toilet.
It's made of stainless steel and has a sort of basin in the top with a spout coming out of it. The drain in the basin is made of mesh holes, so I can't stick anything down it, and no, there is no way to flood it.
That's the odd thing. There are no handles to flush the toilet or turn on the water in what I will call the sink. I just do my business in the toilet and it flushes with a WOOSH!
The "sink" is the same way. I put my hands near it, and a little trickle of water comes pouring out the slot and I have about 10 seconds to either wash my hands (no soap) or drink from it.
It doesn't happen every time 'though. I have to wait about an hour in between, so there's no way to wash your hands AND get a drink. It's almost like someone is training me, or it could be remote controlled. I just don't know at this point...
And I'm sure "they" are watching me. The ceiling is about 10 feet high with no features to speak of except for the mesh covering the light. I was staring at the light for a while a bit back, and I noticed through the glare a black dome in the middle of the fixture. It has to be a camera, I just know it. But what are they waiting for?
No one interviews me, and yelling at the top of my lungs does no good.
I suspect that there are others like me here since at times I hear muffled sounds close to the slot in the door that my food arrives through, but I can't tell if the voices are male or female, or just how far away they are from me.
I miss "D" terribly.
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