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Memory Dump Subject 0141960-M
Entry 3 - 01:3:50 / 102905
I am going crazy. I know it.
I really don't know how long I've been here.
I have no one to talk to, and no one talks to me.
I see no one. I can't tell what time of "day" my food arrives. It arrives sometime at what I think is mid-day, but I never seem to be paying attention - it's a little like watching for water to boil - and then PLOP! - in pops the tray.
I am however devising a way to count by timing how soon I can get water in my sink, but I still have no frame of reference except to stand in front of it and count in a syncopated manner, shoving my hands into the sink in 10 second intervals until the water trickles forth.
And this is why I know they are watching me.
As soon as I had some frame of reference for time and date, they stopped the water from coming every 10 minutes. I know. I counted.
Well, that and the fact that after I started to beat my head against the toilet in order to kill myself, I was taken to another cell.
I did manage to conk myself pretty hard, or at least hard enough to knock myself out cold, and when I woke up my head had been stitched and the remnants of blood that had caked on the edge of the toilet seat from previous attempts had been removed.
So, if they weren't watching me, how did they know that I hurt myself?
I am confused. They won't talk to me.
I don't know what they want.
I don't know how long I've been here or how long I will BE here.
I guess I'm a political prisoner but I have no idea where I am, or even what they want from me.
From time to time I masturbate, having long since given up any hope of privacy and in much need of relief. God I miss "D".. I wonder what she's doing right now...
I think about her all the time in the continuing silence; our talks long into the night, her fantasies and crazy stories she makes up. I even miss her talking in her sleep.
Ouch. My head hurts.
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